As we have recently talked about women in the workplace and introduced the concept of relational mindfulness, it is only fair that we also discuss men.
Many years ago (1991 to be precise) I was part of a team sent to open the first InterContinental hotel in Moscow. A very interesting time to be there and I could write an entire essay on the experience. If you have read or watched “A Gentleman in Moscow” then you will know the hotel where that story takes place–yes, it’s real and yes that’s where we worked.
Rather more revealing age wise, is that every time I hear the Scorpions song “Winds of Change” I am taken back to that time. One Sunday, all the team set off for a day trip–we had been working hard and it was very early spring in Russia, so we had not much chance to venture out.
We headed to Klin, which is around 80km from Moscow and famous for its Tchaikovsky House Museum. On arrival, I am sad to say we saw an almost perfect example of how people might view genders–almost all the men decided to play football in the car park, whilst the rest of the party headed for the museum.
I have a damaged knee from rugby, I should never have been playing football. But I did–and ended up being evacuated back to London to deal with a resultant knee injury. Why did I do it? Almost certainly because of a male, macho, testosterone fuelled - whatever you want to call it-urge
Real men then didn’t cry, they bonded over beer and only shared their emotions when their favourite sports team won (or lost). And they probably didn’t put going to a museum at the top of their to do list. I chose the physical approach to wellness as opposed to a more nuanced one–with predictable results.
Have things changed nowadays? Yes, but certainly not as much as you might think and there is a growing awareness that male wellness is not only vital to male development. It is also a growing industry–albeit in ways that real men are only now beginning to appreciate. And recent male wellness has focused on old school manliness–with its accent on the physical (Marathons! Triathlons! Crossfit!) and performance-based culture.
There is nothing wrong with this but when it is the dominant trend one must ask if men’s needs are really being met. Not every man is ultra-competitive, just as not every man is ultra-sensitive, so how about the man in the middle–who still enjoys working out and likes male companionship but also makes time for their emotional and relationship health? I have been guilty of being all three of these types and now aim to be that man in the middle. And I know I am not alone.
In our most recent discussion, Dr. Birgit Trauer, an expert in special interest tourism, highlighted that we are witnessing a cultural shiftwith an overall trend of people looking for what has been termed transformational travel experiences. Not only women but also men, and non-binary people, are ever more seeking to experience themselves anew and be mindful in their relational engagements – with themselves, others, and the world around them.
Booking.com’s list of 2025 travel predictions suggests that “men-only” travel and retreats will trend next year. The travel booking platform anticipates travellers ditching “bro culture” and opting for wellness and self-development. Interestingly, the article presents research to show a high percentage of women motivate the men in their lives to go on retreats by themselves, sharing experiences with other men, not necessarily with their partners. Does this resonate?
Birgit cautions, however, that the tourism industry must be careful not to just jump on the bandwagon, as it often does, with offerings that are simply trying to sell mindfulness-oriented “products” that hint at McMindfulness and experiences. It pays for the industry to be conscious of a growing need and desire for mindfulness that includes exploring and challenging the traditional and outdated age, gender, and identity stereotypes and expectations that permeate not only travel and tourism but society at large.
Time for us (the industry) to come to embrace relational mindfulness –with a focus on self, others, and the environment of our existence. And it is time for men to ask themselves (and each other): What am I, what are you, and what are we mindful of?
#realmen #mindfulness #relationalmindfulness #wellness #hospitality #tourism #hotels #vietnam
#genderdisparity #emotionalrecession #humanconnection